In Mind To Be Outside

Every day I wonder what I can write
that you’ve not read in some way before
too many days I end up writing nothing
not of lack of feeling, more through
feelings being a fluid thing with need
of touch, of sight to flow, words unheard
seen unsaid, whispered ears, expressive
eyes, receptive lips, in mind to be outside.

This one smiles…

She’d had sex
mischievous fun
closeness and release
not always that good
things done before
not always wanted
expected to give in

This one smiles
looks into her eyes
knows where to touch
for how long and let go
catches her with silence
asks nothing of her yet
she tells him everything

Things she didn’t see
he doesn’t tell yet shows
her body curved to his
no lead no follow bliss
how did she how did he
as if he knew she knew
they’d get to feel like this

His & Hers: Raw Lines #14 – Immunised against love

His:     You’re the most complex woman I’ve ever come across – such beauty, obvious intelligence, yet so suspicious and lacking in confidence. You really have been hurt and badly to need to hide yourself on here. That we met here is something of a miracle, that we stay here would be a tragedy and I will not let that happen. I can’t undo your past but I can be of your present, your future, as a friend and whatever else you find within yourself you need of me. I’m real, I’m genuine, above all I’m a man who somehow fell for you, and despite everything, I sense you feel the same?

Hers:   Maybe it’s my intelligence which makes me be suspicious and decide on what I do. I do not want to get hurt again, and that is why I am not rushing things forwards. Everything has its time and place. No tragedies please, just keep positive.

His:     My heart decides when it comes to you, against all logic, or what my mind says. Please listen to yours and if it says you want me, then call me.

Hers:   I have to listen to my head as well and unless the two are in unison I can’t make myself move on. I think we are having fun and I want it to continue and see what happens.

His:     No, we are not having fun. You are at the expense of my emotions. You ignore all I say, only want things to be your way not our way. You’re immunised against love, have not said a single word that shows you want me. Not in any way shown you care. It’s such a tragedy.

Hers:   I think this talk is crazy after only chatting for such a short time. I am sorry that you seem to think I am selfish in some way. I don’t know what you want me to say to that. Makes me feel great so thank you!

His:      Such a short time? Just one word left to say to you… enough!

Hers:   Oh come on. In the grand scheme of things it is crazy to be saying that. Of course I have feelings for you but I cannot declare my undying love for you before we are face to face. Not only would it be naïve it would be meaningless – when I show you and tell you how I feel about you I want it to be special and amazing. The real tragedy is that you want to walk away now, and for what – because I keep my heart inside of me, because I want us to be real.

His & Hers raw words are extracts from a file of fictional messages written in recent years titled ‘Believing Sight Unseen.’ A first novel ‘Sam & Erin’ drawn from these extracts is nearing completion – a second novel ‘Sean & Ellie’ is being worked on too.