Their Days – Believing Sight Unseen – May #4

May 2015, their days awakened, Sam is in Brussels, Erin at work in London, not expecting to hear from him… she doesn’t know him well yet, or he her…

 

Monday

 Hello, Erin, how are you? Things are moving fast here – work-wise, I mean. There’s plenty of talk as usual but, unusually for a gaggle of scientific experts, open-minded listening too. Decisions are going to be made, quite amazing for an EU run thing. Looks like I’m going to be much busier than I expected. Fortunately I’m definitely around next week, speaking of which I’m excited about meeting up with you. What dates do you have in mind? As for your birthday, what are you and your girlfriends getting up to at the weekend, or should a gentleman not ask?

 

Hello, Sam, thank you so much for finding the time to message me. I wasn’t sure you would be able to – I’m so chuffed. The thing is, I now feel guilty. I’m trying but haven’t come up with any dates for us to meet next week. I hope you understand I’m doing my best, so please don’t have a go at me. 

Tuesday

 There was too much going on out here yesterday for me to reply. I wanted to as I couldn’t understand why you thought I’d have a go at you. If you say you are trying and doing your best, why would I not believe you? Sure I’ll be disappointed if it turns out I can’t see you next week, but why on earth would you think I’d turn on you?

 

Sorry, it’s just what I’m used to from men. Well, most men, when things don’t go their way. I don’t want to disappoint you, Sam, but I’ve got a lot on at the moment at home and at work and I’m not able to even pencil in a date just now. I know I’m going out with the girls on Saturday, but that’s been booked up for weeks, and no – a gentleman shouldn’t ask. Hmm, a ‘scientist and a gentleman’ – I wonder, could that play out like ‘An Officer and a Gentleman’, with you whisking me away in your white coat?

 *

 Hey, you don’t have to justify yourself to me.  Let’s say no more about it and see where we are when I get back, okay? Your mind’s like quicksilver on here, and your ‘hmm’s’ keep taking me by surprise, in a good way. Whisk you away? Now there’s a thought. I’ll be popping in to London next week – I’ll bring a lab-coat with me.

 

I think I’d actually die if you turned up and did the ‘Richard Gere’ thing with me. I’ve got this feeling though that you are the kind of man who would. I’m blushing. How are you doing this to me? We haven’t even met yet.

 Thursday

 It was manic out here on Wednesday – we wrapped everything up at 9 pm, then our Belgian colleagues found a restaurant for about twenty of us to literally take over – obligatory fillet steaks and pommes frites, and beer, and more beer, and… well, let’s just say I’m glad it’s a short flight home today. Blushing reveals a lot about you – your sensitivity, your barely hidden vulnerability, your ability to show emotions, and apparently those that blush make great lovers. I may not be blushing, but I’m certainly smiling as I sign off for now.

 

How do you do this, Sam? You talk to me as if we have known each other for years not just a couple of weeks and with a sore head too. Some of the things you say I’d feel uncomfortable about with anyone else, but it feels alright with you. So you don’t blush? Well, I’ll have to see what I can do about that when you get back.

Their Days – Believing Sight Unseen – May #2

 Their Days – Believing Sight Unseen revised, reformatted, pared back – returned to narrative/message format – I’m in two minds, theirs and mine with this…

 

Monday

 Hello, Erin, l can’t believe you got in touch. I’ve not done anything like this before so I’ll be me and write the way I feel. Is that alright with you?

 

 I like the way you write – it’s refreshing to chat to a guy who seems interested in me. Most men on here are only interested in one thing!

 *

 There must be plenty of men who’ve been awed by your looks, your sensuality, your charms. I can’t imagine you ever having to try too hard, or being alone. That you’re here, I can’t think why. You’ll have your reasons, and I’ll not pry.

 

I find that a lot of guys who would like to be with me are far too immature. I’ve always been attracted to the more intelligent male and I like older guys too as I feel I’m treated much better by them, though there are always exceptions to the rules. What about you?

 *

 For me intelligence and looks only go so far, it’s who and how you are that really matters. You have something, you intrigue me, and if you don’t mind me saying, it sounds as if you’ve been let down a time or two? Men say they cannot help but be what they are, though some do try to be as women want, but I’ll not deny it isn’t easy! Sorry, I’m probably talking too much?

 

 No, not at all. I don’t think you talk too much. I like reading what you have to say. It’s all so real and insightful, I feel as if I’m connecting with you and I’m enjoying it.

 Tuesday

 I wonder how many lives your smile will light up today, how many pulses you will raise.  How many will stumble for words on speaking to you, asking how you are, how your evening was, wishing they had been with you. I’m smiling now, thinking all these things too.

 

 You have made me smile that’s for sure – I wish I could be that infectious!

 *

 You’ll think this a strange for me to say, but I feel your presence. Where my thoughts go you go too – us walking bare foot in the grass, our feet anointed by the sea as we stroll along a beach, hands held beneath a sky of blue… I know, I know, too much, too soon… to think of you like this.

 

 You know how to give me butterflies, don’t you? I enjoy your thoughts – I have the same sorts of things running through my mind too, though I don’t have the words to capture them as you do.

 *

 For us to have begun to share our thoughts and feelings means a lot to me. I can’t explain why we feel like this, can you? I’m just glad we do. Perhaps it is fate, its touch, a chance for us to… well, let’s see?

 

 I have a good feeling about us too but, lovely as this is, let’s not go and get all carried away too soon. Can we just enjoy this moment and take things a little more slowly please?

 Wednesday

 Erin, you’re something more than beautiful to me. You permeate my mind, you occupy my dreams. There’s no speed control, no neutral – it’s the way it is.  I sense I could tell you everything of me and you tell me next to nothing in return, yet you’d draw me in, day-by-day, ever closer to you. Please tell me, how did I get to feel like this? I don’t know a thing about you.

 

 Sam, I’ve never known a man who could express his feelings as you do – this is a first for me. I certainly got more than I bargained for when I messaged you! Oh, and by the way, I don’t see how you can sense I’ll not tell you anything about me – you haven’t asked me anything.  What’s a girl to do?

 *

PorterGirl – Second Editions. Still First Class.

Ladies and gentlemen – your attention please – the PorterGirl series second editions released – new jackets, author Lucy Brazier ever stylish…

Lucy Brazier

Ladies & gentlemen – introducing the brand spanking new editions of the PorterGirl series, in association with Smashing Blouse Productions. Second editions – but still first class.

First Lady of the Keys

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As one of the most ancient and esteemed establishments of the academic elite, Old College is in for something of a shock when it appoints its very first female Deputy Head Porter. As she struggles to get to grips with this eccentric world – not to mention the polite and discrete appearance of some dead bodies – she begins to wonder just quite what she is doing here.PorterGirl – First Lady of the Keys is a quirky and, at times, laugh-out-loud funny glimpse into a world usually reserved for the upper echelons of society.Whether she is chasing after naked students, drinking copious amounts of tea or getting embroiled in nefarious deeds, Deputy Head Porter is never far from…

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Throwback Friday – ‘Greenland’ – Eric (EDC Writing)

‘Sam & Erin’s Story’ has been on hold a while as I completed ‘Shorts – a take on poetry’ – their story first saw the light of day as a mix of narrative scenes and messages – then became all messages – on re-reading I think I might change my mind again and add narrative text like this back in – your thoughts as ever welcome please…

Go Dog Go Café

This post a lengthy piece of narrative text written as part of ‘Sam & Erin’s Story’ back in September 2017 – this its first exposure at the Go Dog Go Cafe…

 …..

With hail ricocheting off the wing, backsides bouncing on their seats, her hand gripping his, painted nails digging in, not daring to breathe, let alone speak, his brain exclaims shit, how’s this thing still flying?! As wheels touch the ground and spent air is released through every orifice he strains to hear her breathless whisper. “Sorry, Sam, your fingers are bleeding.”

Sam grins as he looks at his deeply scarred hand. “When I said get a grip I didn’t mean quite so literally! At least this one is already ugly.” Amy gives his hand a kiss; a trace of Sam’s blood merges with her lipstick.

Both give a nervous laugh as the pilot nonchalantly announces, “Welcome to Kangerlussuaq…

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His & Hers: Raw Lines #14 – Immunised against love

His:     You’re the most complex woman I’ve ever come across – such beauty, obvious intelligence, yet so suspicious and lacking in confidence. You really have been hurt and badly to need to hide yourself on here. That we met here is something of a miracle, that we stay here would be a tragedy and I will not let that happen. I can’t undo your past but I can be of your present, your future, as a friend and whatever else you find within yourself you need of me. I’m real, I’m genuine, above all I’m a man who somehow fell for you, and despite everything, I sense you feel the same?

Hers:   Maybe it’s my intelligence which makes me be suspicious and decide on what I do. I do not want to get hurt again, and that is why I am not rushing things forwards. Everything has its time and place. No tragedies please, just keep positive.

His:     My heart decides when it comes to you, against all logic, or what my mind says. Please listen to yours and if it says you want me, then call me.

Hers:   I have to listen to my head as well and unless the two are in unison I can’t make myself move on. I think we are having fun and I want it to continue and see what happens.

His:     No, we are not having fun. You are at the expense of my emotions. You ignore all I say, only want things to be your way not our way. You’re immunised against love, have not said a single word that shows you want me. Not in any way shown you care. It’s such a tragedy.

Hers:   I think this talk is crazy after only chatting for such a short time. I am sorry that you seem to think I am selfish in some way. I don’t know what you want me to say to that. Makes me feel great so thank you!

His:      Such a short time? Just one word left to say to you… enough!

Hers:   Oh come on. In the grand scheme of things it is crazy to be saying that. Of course I have feelings for you but I cannot declare my undying love for you before we are face to face. Not only would it be naïve it would be meaningless – when I show you and tell you how I feel about you I want it to be special and amazing. The real tragedy is that you want to walk away now, and for what – because I keep my heart inside of me, because I want us to be real.

His & Hers raw words are extracts from a file of fictional messages written in recent years titled ‘Believing Sight Unseen.’ A first novel ‘Sam & Erin’ drawn from these extracts is nearing completion – a second novel ‘Sean & Ellie’ is being worked on too.

His & Hers: Raw Lines #13 – back in touch

His:     The trouble is I doubt you, too much time has gone by, if you really cared you would surely have meet up with me by now. I think back a few months to when you said you loved me, I’d never been so happy, but then you withdrew your love saying you’re not sure, but all the time saying you never say anything unless you mean it. Do you really expect me to still believe that? You’d been saying we will meet soon for months, how gullible do you think I am? Read your so brief messages, where did the woman I used to know go. What the hell has happened to you?

Hers:   Nothing has happened to me, I don’t know why you are saying that? I have issues I’m trying to get over but I don’t like to talk about my problems with you as I don’t want to bring you down so I keep a lot to myself and trapped inside. I feel let down by your message to be honest.

His:    I can’t read your mind, I wish I could. I also wish you would share your problems with me and let me help you through them but I can’t do anything for you if you don’t trust me. Let me through your barrier and have me by your side for as long as you want and need me.

Hers:  Well I’m not asking you to read my mind and I’d rather keep my problems to myself, they are personal and for me to deal with, sorry.

His:    When I got back in touch you said I made you so happy and that I was in your heart, it moved me so much to hear you say that. But since you suggested our next step was to meet, and it was you, I just asked what happens next, you have been so indifferent and evasive. I can accept there’s an imbalance in our feelings for each other but even so, to say the least, I’m confused. I don’t know what to do?

Hers:   I’m a little confused here too as I think you are reading things in the wrong way. I do not think there is an imbalance with our feelings and besides, we all do and show things in a different way. We are not all the same. Please try not to over analyse things as you will drive yourself crazy. You don’t need to do anything, okay.

His & Hers raw lines resumed – extracts from ‘Believing Sight Unseen’ – can’t quite believe it’s been a year since I posted  His & Hers: Raw Lines #12 – subtle breeze…and nine months since Their Days: Sam & Erin’s Story #23 (novel to be published  as  ‘Sam and Erin – Believing Sight Unseen’)

EDC Writing: Bits & Pieces – Perfect Days

Our perfect days to come have to start with one, the day we say hello, the day that we begin, to talk a while and feel, all that we’ve begun is real, to let what we have grow, through looks and smiles, and hand holds, and if our chemistry is right, as I believe it might, then we’ll be all we’ve ever said, the two of us, behaving naturally, instinctively, behind closed doors, the bedroom, the sofa, the kitchen table, up against the hall wall, and as I know you have a hankering, al fresco too, the touch of grass upon your skin, words undressed as us, all we are exposed …

EDC Writing – notes for my editor #1

Believing Sight Unseen

His and her stories written in message format

Have enough raw text for at least two distinct books using different pairs of characters – it’s just a matter of me sorting it!

 

Book One: Their Days – Sam & Erin’s Story

A May to September relationship – in terms of age gap and timeline.

Two characters Erin, age about 30; Sam, age about 50.

Interaction – predominately internet messaging – potential for email, phone text and ultimately dialogue.

Messages clearly defined as Sam or Erin – delineated by day starting on a Sunday in early May (contemporary, most of the raw messages were written in 2012 – 2014).

No formal chapters – time lined – Early May – Mid May – Late May and so on.

Expect to be novella length (~25,000 words of which ~ 11,000 edited to date)

Intention to be real and relatable – believable yet not predictable – to have readers feel for both Sam and Erin and want them to be together (despite or because of their flaws and misunderstandings).

An of today ‘will they – wont they’ story aiming to self-publish in June (July at the latest!)

Blogging ongoing edited story in ‘real time’ up until published – from today.

[Hi Esther – I need to send you this! Catch up tomorrow – Eric]

His & Hers: Raw Lines #12 – subtle breeze…

His:

On days like this, sun kissed, a subtle breeze, leaves appearing in awakening trees, inner feelings can break free. Imagine a day like this, the day we meet, how it could be, for you and me. You walk towards me, and I to you, you give a wave and I do too. We now so close our smiles break through, both blush a little as our eyes meet too. Our fingers brush, your hand finds its way to mine. We stroll along, birds sing, nature in all its glory bows to you, your beauty, I bow too.

Hers:

Subtle breeze and leaves – you are such a romantic. Those words of yours paint a thousand images in my mind you know! Blushing a little got me smiling and our eyes meeting. What would we be wearing? I’d like to imagine the whole picture if you don’t think it an odd question?

His:

A quote from Hans Christian Andersen –  ‘just living is not enough, one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower’ – just seems to catch the mood, the way I feel, about my life and you. We share the sunshine, my freedom my choice to be with you, the perfect flower, who gives meaning to my life. What we’ll wear, always a smile, whatever else depends on how we are, we feel, how much we want to give. I see you in my mind, always stunning in a dress, light and floaty in the daytime you hair down, barefoot, we always seem to be in the open, walking, laying on the grass. In the evening, a dress too, figure hugging, we’re dancing, close, all eyes on you.

Hers:

Oh my goodness, that quote and the way you described it relating to you and me actually brought a tear to my eye. I do hope I’m not a disappointment to you when we meet. You put me on such a high pedestal that I’m afraid I’ll not stand up to your expectations of me.

His:

I’ll stand up for you, as you come into sight, when you enter a room, when you need a hug, by day by night. A romantic, yes, yet a realist too.  I know of you only from your words, and those that fall between the lines. We all have flaws, my eyes are open and I adore you for who you are.

Hers:

You really are an amazing man aren’t you? I can’t believe how lucky I am. Being on here I just thought would be a bit of fun. I never ever expected to find someone like you and to feel like this. I love everything about you and I feel that can only grow more as time goes on.

His & Hers – raw lines extracted at random from ‘Believing Sight Unseen’  a file of what was a quarter of a million words – culled to about a hundred and fifty thousand – now turning into stories…