#5: Awakening – Crazy feelings

Friday

Sam:

I am walking in the rain alone my head bowed heavy with my thoughts, wanting to tell you more than I can, and I will when we are more secure than we are now. There are plenty of men like me and women too. I’ll have one with me – she goes everywhere I go, keeps me out of trouble, so no need to be scared for me. I’m drenched to the skin but do not want to go in, so I’ll stay outside and steam a while with my thoughts of being inside with you.

Erin:

In a minute I’m going to wake up and find that this is all a dream.  No man has ever turned me on the way you do. My imagination is going wild. I need you to go in, to feel how wet I am too.

Sam:

Imagine … you walk towards me hands outstretched. I mirror you. Our fingers touch, hands connect, arms enfold, and we embrace. You nuzzle my neck, and my eyes stream dewdrops on your hair. You look up, your eyes glisten, and moisten me. Our warmth creates a mist, mysterious, breathed in, every tear of joy shed condensed within. Lips dare to kiss, tongue tips touch, silently saying so much. We squeeze up tight …we say hello.

Erin:

You have made my skin come out in goose bumps. I so want the first time we meet to be like this – I so want to be squeezed up close to you.

 

Saturday

Sam:

This afternoon I’m free. I can’t help but feel I should be arm in arm with you, talking, sharing smiles, walking down our local streets, bars and coffee shops inviting us to step in – familiar people pause and stare. Perhaps that’s it – I am asking too much of someone as young and beautiful as you to be seen with a man like me?

Erin:

I guess I am just scared and nervous about the whole thing. The feelings I have for you are truly overwhelming and I am worried that when we do take those steps to meet that you may change your mind and not want a girl like me.

 

Sunday

Sam:

Erin, how could I not want you, in truth I feel as though I’m falling for you, a crazy thing to say I know, but somehow you’ve stroked my heart and opened it, you are flowing through my veins.

Erin:

It’s not crazy at all, you can’t help the way you feel, none of us can. Feelings can be a very strange thing and sometimes shocks us but I do have very strong feelings for you too, and I’ve never even met you!

Sam:

A quiet moment, lying in the sun, muscles stretched, blood flowing where most needed, relaxed, imagination in free fall, every thought of you, your beauty, the unfulfilled pleasure of your company, ever aching, longing for you to be beside me, my toes touching yours, our hearts thumping, our bodies in alignment, my hardness to your softness, eyes alight, the gap between us closes, lips exchange desires and needs , expressed in breathless whispers, intimate caresses, hands tentatively exploring, lips tasting, a prelude to the ultimate… a nice hot cup of tea.

Erin:

“I’m trembling, I don’t know if to laugh or cry, your words touch me in ways I did not think possible, if this is a dream it will be the best dream I have ever had, and if I have to wake, I want to wake with you beside me, to hold you and never let you go.

 

Monday

Sam:

Hi, Erin, did you sleep well? I got up early and am now at the airport.  It’s 6.30 am and we are about to go to the departure gate. You are so worth waiting for – I’m sure of how I feel. At least I’ll have my dreams of you in the never ending daylight nights.

Erin:

Oh, Sam, you take care. I can’t quite believe you’re not here. I’ll be waiting for you, promise.

#4: Awakening – Virgin territory

Sunday

Sam:

Erin, you stir so many things in me, we have to meet and soon. Let’s try to sort something out for next week.

Erin:

I know that we need to meet, and I want to, it’s not just a case of having to, okay? We just need to get the timing right and I’m sorry but next week is not right for me. I can’t help it, I just have too much on. I had no idea we’d get this close this quick when we started this.

Sam:

The thing is, Erin, and I’d thought you would have realised this, I’m only in the UK next week then I’ll be away for a while and won’t be able to keep in touch. Well, at least not on a site like this. Look, I’ll be in London on Tuesday. Why don’t we meet up at lunchtime, just a quick coffee if you like? It would be so good to see you before I go.

Erin:

Excuse me, what kind of message is that? Just what am I supposed to have realised? You’re the one who needs to look, Sam, I’ve told you I can’t meet up with you next week. It feels to me as though you are trying to tell me what to do and I don’t like it. I think you are being very unfair pushing me like this.

 

Monday

Sam:

I didn’t see much point in responding yesterday – we’d have only ended up saying things we’d regret and made things even more difficult than they are. My instincts don’t usually let me down, but you are virgin territory to me. What I felt was a little nudge you took as a hefty push. I can see I will need to handle you with the most gentle and sensual touch.

Erin:

You are so good at this, aren’t you, making me feel bad for what I said then making me laugh? ‘Virgin territory’, you silly sod, but then you get me wondering just how unique a man like you could be?

Sam:

You don’t have to wonder, Erin, but you’ll have to wait to find out as you can’t make this week. I’ll be off again from next Monday for a couple of weeks, maybe longer – it’s hard to tell until I get out there. What’s keeping you so busy that you don’t even have time for a coffee? I’m not having a dig, I’d genuinely like to know.

Erin:

You may not think you are having a dig but it feels a bit like it to me. It’s obviously not helping with you going away again – it’s putting pressure on both of us. I know you are just wanting coffee and a chat to begin with. I think that is a great idea, but please can we keep chatting on here and sort something out when you get back?

Sam:

You’re probably right. I guess we could wait a few weeks to meet, but something has to happen.  A phone call, or even an e-mail? Surely you can see that?

Erin:

I know what you are saying, but it is different for women and I’m not comfortable giving out my personal information until we meet. I’ve had a bad experience in the past and I’m now extra cautious, so I hope you can understand my need to feel safe . It’s not you, it’s just the way I am.

 

Wednesday

Sam:

Hello, Erin, I was in London yesterday and what with one thing and another I didn’t have time to message you, so don’t go thinking I didn’t understand what you said. I did and I’m okay with it. Time is getting very tight for me – I haven’t done a field trip quite like this one for a while, and let’s just say the preliminaries are quite demanding. At least I passed the medical yesterday. How’s life for you?

Erin:

Oh my goodness, you really are going away, aren’t you? I hadn’t really taken it in to be honest. Is it really going to be for weeks? I don’t know what to say.  I’m quite upset. You’ll think me silly, but I can’t bear the thought of not hearing from you. Please don’t leave me alone on here.

 

Thursday

Sam:

Erin, what can I say? This is how my life is. I thought you knew that from the start.  I have no ties, no responsibilities to anyone, and I come and go as I’m asked. I can’t just stop, even if I wanted to. Look, I’ve been straight with you – where I’m going is far too remote to be able to log on to a site like this. I know I’m sounding blunt. I don’t mean to, but I do need you to realise we’ll need to move off of here if you want the chance of a relationship with me.

Erin:

I can’t believe you sent me that. You sound so cold and detached, and again you are trying to impose your will on me. It seems I got you wrong and you are not the man I imagined you to be .Oh well.

Sam:

Oh, Erin, why be like this? I just want to have a way of keeping in touch with you, that’s all. Is that really too much to ask? Cold and detached? You must be psychic, as I will be, but not in the way you think. I fly to Reykjavik on Sunday then on to Greenland.  Though it’s June the weather is bad right now, but if we can the plan is to move on to the ice cap by Wednesday. So hostile to begin, then sheer beauty shining through. How about you?

Erin:

My head is pounding, Sam. I can’t take all of this in. I am so unsure what to do, I can’t make sense of some of these feelings I have right now. I can’t stop thinking about you. I keep saying it, but I’ve never known a man like you. I didn’t even know men like you existed. I’m almost too scared to ask, but why do you have to be out there?

 

[EDC Writing©2017 – ‘Their Days’ – posts every Monday & Wednesday]

#3: Awakening – Scientist and a gentleman

Monday

Sam:

Hi, Erin, how are you? Things are moving fast here -work wise, I mean. There is plenty of talk as usual but unusually for a gaggle of scientific experts, open-minded listening too. Decisions are actually going to be made, quite amazing for an EU run thing. Looks like I’m going to be much busier than I expected. Fortunately I’m definitely around next week, speaking of which I’m excited about meeting up with you. What dates do you have in mind? As for your birthday, what are you and your girlfriends getting up to at the weekend, or should a gentleman not ask?

Erin:

Hello, Sam, thank you so much for finding the time to message me. I wasn’t sure you would be able to – I’m so chuffed. The thing is, I now feel guilty. I’m trying but haven’t come up with any dates for us to meet next week. I hope you understand I’m doing my best, so please don’t have a go at me.

 

Tuesday

Sam:

Erin, there was just too much going on out here yesterday for me to reply. I wanted to as I couldn’t understand why you thought I’d have a go at you. If you say you are trying and doing your best, why would I not believe you? Sure I’ll be disappointed if it turns out I can’t see you next week, but why on earth would you think I’d turn on you?

Erin:

Sorry, it’s just what I’m used to from men. Well, most men, when things don’t go their way. I don’t want to disappoint you, Sam, I really don’t, but I’ve got a lot on at the moment at home and at work and I’m not able to even pencil in a date just now. I know I’m going out with the girls on Saturday but that’s been booked up for weeks, and no – a gentleman shouldn’t ask. Hmm, a ‘scientist and a gentleman’ – I wonder, could that play out like ‘An Officer and a Gentleman’, with you whisking me away in your white coat?

Sam:

Hey, you don’t have to justify yourself to me.  Let’s say no more about it and just see where we are when I get back, okay? Your mind’s like quicksilver on here, and your ‘hmm’s keep taking me by surprise, in a good way. Whisk you away? Now there’s a thought. I’ll be popping in to London next week – I’ll bring a lab-coat with me.

Erin:

Sam, I think I’d actually die if you turned up and did the ‘Richard Gere’ thing with me. I’ve got this feeling though that you are the kind of man who would. I’m blushing. How are you doing this to me? We haven’t even met yet.

 

Thursday

Sam:

Hi, Erin, it was manic out here on Wednesday – we wrapped everything up at about nine pm, then our Belgian colleagues found a restaurant for about twenty of us to literally take over, obligatory fillet steaks and pommes frites, and beer, and more beer, and… well, let’s just say I’m glad it’s a short flight home today. Blushing reveals a lot about you – your sensitivity, your barely hidden vulnerability, your ability to show emotions, and apparently those that blush make great lovers! I may not be blushing but I’m certainly smiling as I sign off for now.

Erin:

How do you do this, Sam? You talk to me as if we have known each other for years not just a couple of weeks and with a sore head too. Some of the things you say I’d feel uncomfortable about with anyone else, but somehow it seems alright with you. So you don’t blush? Well, I’ll have to see what I can do about that when you get back.

 

Friday

Sam:

I send my gifts to you as words:

Flowers, their fragile beauty incomparable to yours

A classic fragrance, subtle, heaven scent as you

Lingerie, sensual, your body to adorn

Chocolate, to brush your lips, to taste sublime within

 My thoughts stroked from my heart to yours.

Happy Birthday, Erin, I wish I could give you more.

Erin:

Oh my goodness, Sam, you have brought tears to my eyes. I am so flattered and overwhelmed by your lovely words. I wish I were with you right now to show you how very grateful I am. How could a girl want more than you have given me? Thank you so much, I’m almost speechless. Things like this don’t happen to me.

 

Saturday

Sam:

 Hi Erin, just a quick one, I stayed at a friend’s last night but now back home to a pile of junk mail through my letterbox, a misnomer if ever there was one. Makes me think back to my youth, first teenage girlfriend, met on holiday, she lived hundreds of miles away, our lifeline to write and share the odd phone call, I from the red telephone box at the bottom of the road, she from a phone at home, that seemed posh to me! Her letters I remember most, the first girl to show her feelings for me through her written words. Decades on, another world, written words connect us too, pull us close, enough to touch, to feel something inside, revealed by our reflexive smiles and the atmospherics of our eyes. Have a great night out with your friends… short skirts, low tops and killer heels… or have I got you wrong?

Erin:

Your messages take me to another world, each one shows me a bit more of you, I love it, I really do. If I tried to do the same mine would be rubbish next to yours. If that’s your quick one Sam, I’m going to be a very lucky girl – and yes we will be girly girls tonight!

 

[EDC Writing©2017 – ‘Their Days’ – posts every Monday & Wednesday]

#2: Awakening – Getting to know you

Wednesday

Sam:

You’ll think this a strange thing for me to say, but I feel your presence. Where my thoughts go you go too – us walking bare foot in the grass, our feet anointed by the sea as we stroll along a beach, hands held beneath a sky of blue – I know, I know, too much, too soon – to think of you like this.

Erin:

You know how to give me butterflies, don’t you? I enjoy your thoughts – I have the same sorts of things running through my mind too, though I don’t have the words to capture them as you do.

Sam:

For us to have begun to share our thoughts and feelings means a lot to me. I can’t explain why we feel like this, can you? I’m just glad we do. Perhaps it’s fate, its touch, a chance for us, to… well let’s see?

Erin:

I have a good feeling about us too but lovely as this is let’s not go and get all carried away too soon. Can we just enjoy this moment and take things a little more slowly please?

Sam:

Erin, you are something more than beautiful to me. You permeate my mind, you occupy my dreams. There is no speed control, no neutral – it’s just the way it is.  I sense I could tell you everything of me and you tell me almost nothing in return, yet draw me in, day by day, ever closer to you. Please tell me, however did I get to feel like this? I don’t know a thing about you.

Erin:

Sam, I’ve never known a man who could express his feelings as you do – this really is a first for me. I certainly got more than I bargained for when I messaged you! Oh, and by the way, I don’t see how you can sense I’ll not tell you anything about me – you haven’t asked me anything.  What’s a girl to do?

Thursday

Sam:

Hello, Erin, I guess I’ve been holding back a bit. I didn’t want to seem too pushy. Yes, I’d like to get to know you, who you are, what you do, what makes you tick, if that’s okay with you? As for me, Sam is my given name. I’ve just turned fifty-two and I’m single, but I haven’t always been. I feel like a thirty-year-old in my head but as for the rest of me, I try to keep in shape with a run, a swim and yoga a few days a week. I’m a scientist, and work where and when I’m needed, usually abroad. I’ll be in Brussels next week for a few days, but I should be back by the weekend.

Erin:

Of course you can get to know me. I like that you want to so it’s very okay. You now intrigue me even more. You look much younger and I can see you’re in good shape. Your job sounds important – it must be exciting jetting off to work. I’m not as clever as you obviously are – I do admin for a charity and the most I get to travel is in to London every day.  I’m free and single and will be out with the girls next weekend to celebrate my birthday!

Friday

Sam:

Erin, if I was clever I wouldn’t do some of the things I do. With me it’s more my instincts and experience that count. I’m very hands on, and need to be where things happen. I think you are being kind but thank you all the same. A colleague took that photo a few months ago. She says it’s the real me, whatever that means! You know, I sense it’s you who is the clever one. I’ve worked with charities in the field and totally relied on the expertise of their admin folk to get someone as disorganised as me where I need to be – and back! So, ‘birthday girl’ next weekend, mid-twenties I’m thinking?

Erin:

Sam, you’re over-estimating me. No one ever calls me clever – I think it’s something to do with my long blond hair and boobs. Sometimes people look at me as if I’m just a dumb slut. Maybe they’re right – I’m on here, aren’t I? And for sure, the thought of you being very hands on is playing on my mind! The thing is, I’d like to be seen as normal too if that makes sense. You make me feel good about myself and I can’t remember the last time a man did that. I’ll be twenty-nine by the way, so about as young as you feel!

Sam:

Erin, there is no way you are dumb. The way you write shows me that there is so much more to you than your looks and sexuality. Yes, we’ve met on a site like this.  So what? You have your needs and I have mine but they don’t define us. I’ll not presume to say what yours might be or mine, or that we’ll ever share them – but yes, the things that play on your mind play on my mind too.

Erin:

Sam, the things you say to me, it’s almost as if you know me. For the first time I feel at ease with a man.  I feel I can really talk to you and you’ll not judge me. I like your understated manner. You are a bit mysterious, aren’t you? I probably shouldn’t ask but, if you can, I’d like to know more about what you do… and hmm, what’s playing on your mind then?

Saturday

Sam:

Surely I am not the first man to want to get to know you? Has there not been a man you felt you really wanted, who you opened up to, who made a difference to you? I’m nothing special, just an ordinary man. There isn’t anything too mysterious about me – I just can’t say too much about what I do on here. I liked your mischievous ‘hmm’, and you know full well what’s playing on my mind. I wonder how you imagine a scientist to be. Did you know our senses are highly tuned? We have a touch, a feel for things so sensitive that with experience we can almost feel the earth move. Some go far and wide to perfect this skill. Maybe one day all I’ll need is to be with you?

Erin:

You’re winding me up now, aren’t you? I’ve actually met the odd scientist through my work, odd being the operative word in my experience. I could have stood stark naked in front of one in particular and I’m sure he wouldn’t have noticed. I’m into being experimental and not had any complaints about my touch. And yes, Sam, you are the first man I’ve spoken to seriously on here. I’m so glad I found you, darling man.

Sunday

Sam:

Where to start?  I’m really enjoying this – it’s such bad timing that I have to go away. You know, it’s been a long time since I’ve been called darling or anything like that. It’s kind of nice. I think I’d best shut up before I say something stupid. Moving on to your experimental ways, you got me thinking how best to assess your skills – your flexibility, your responsiveness to diverse stimuli? Perhaps you could find a date that suits for when I come back? I fly out this afternoon and all being well I’ll be back on your birthday. Have to go now. Take care, Erin, I’ll miss you.

Erin:

I’ll do my best to find a date for us. You take care too, and if you can please try and keep in touch.  I’ll miss you too, Sam.

 

[EDC Writing©2017 – ‘Their Days’ – posts every Monday & Wednesday]

#1: Awakening – It started on a Sunday

Sunday

An early May weekend in southern England…

Sam sits, leans back, eyes shaded, hands clasped behind his head. Sweat beads on his pale chest, bared to blend with weathered arms and neck. Not a vain man, he just likes to think ahead, to a day or night he gets lucky; he hasn’t had much yet. Beads turn into rivulets, gather pace and glisten. Abs not flab defines their flow down to his faded combats.

There’s a buzz, a throbbing in his thigh; his left hand goes to his pocket. He grips his smartphone, oddly, between thumb and unoccupied ring-finger. G-mail ‘M’ on screen; he needs to go inside to read. Not just because of the glaring sun, but base instinct, and half-open eyes nearby. Effortlessly he rises; her senses tune to the rhythm of his flip flop walk to and beyond the kitchen door.

He opens the single unread mail: ‘Dream Arousal Site Alert – From Blond & Blue’, and logs in. The message box shows ‘One New’. A click reveals:

I’m here, you’re here, what are we waiting for?

Next to it there’s a thumbnail photo, a young woman, coyly posed, stunningly attractive. “Why would a woman who looks like that message me? Why is she on here at all? She could get any man she wants” he lip syncs as if to a song. He looks at her in disbelief, her natural smile and easy style radiating almost innocence. So different from others on this site, exposing boobs and bum and more, as if to compensate and say ‘Look at me not her.’

He fires off a reply, but it doesn’t send. “Sod it, how do I pay?” Turns out it’s easy, too easy. He charges a handful to his smartphone, to be discretely billed as ‘DAservice’. This time his message goes.

Wow, you look absolutely stunning. I just have to say hello, I’m Sam and spell-bound by your smile.

Exhilarated, he feels he’s been inside for ages, yet the oven clock shows just three minutes.

Back outside, she’s how he left her, eyes closed; her slow-breathing, mesmerising him.He kneels, their shadows merge as one. He strokes her upturned palm, gently traces her heart-line. Electrified she grips his fingers, earth’s them on her exposed thigh. Her wild eyes he fails to read within a blink re-adjust to the familiar ‘don’t push your luck’. His fingers lift, his prints fade; her day-dream moistness lingers.

He sits back on his heels. “Sorry, Amy, a message I had to deal with”. That smile, that face of his, magnetic, pulling at her core, his blue eyes cool, confusing her, as always. All too quick she says “That’s okay Sam, I should be going anyway.”

Without words, they stand. He holds her hand, walks her slowly to her car. Eyes steal stares as they kiss cheeks, their lips untouched as ever.

She says, “Good to see you”

He says, “I’ll call you”

Amy quickly drives away before her eyes betray her.

Sam looks up the road, till all sight and sound of her has gone, his hand holding air as if hers is still there. He shakes his head, so many things unsaid.

The evening sun goes down; there’s a slight chill, so he slips a polo shirt on. Woman bought, it’s a well-worn shade of pink, as is his sun touched skin beneath. He sits, restless in the chair that held her. His fingers caress its wooden arms; he feels a prick … a splinter.

Standing, he squeezes the shard free. A single drop of blood falls, smears, as his still muted phone gyrates across the glass topped table. ‘Blond & Blue’ replies:

Oh my goodness, do you really mean that? I’m Erin by the way.

Monday

Sam:

Hello, Erin, I can’t quite believe you got in touch. I’ve not done anything like this before so I’ll just be me and write the way I feel … is that alright with you?

Erin:

I like the way you write – it’s refreshing to find a guy who seems interested in me. Most men on here are only interested in one thing!

 

Tuesday

Sam:

I wonder how many lives your smile will light up today, how many pulses you will raise, how many will stumble for words on speaking to you, asking how you are, how your evening was, wishing they had been with you. I’m smiling now, thinking all these things too.

Erin:

You have made me smile that’s for sure – I wish I could be that infectious!

 

[EDC Writing©2017 – ‘Their Days’]