Chance conversation?

Thought I’d drop by as me, I thoroughly enjoy our interactions and have this feeling we could come up with an idea or two? The idea of meeting appeals to me, how about you?

I love our interactions also, I would be delighted to get together throw around some ideas and see what we can come up with. Yes, a delight indeed.

Ah get together, methinks it will take an opportunist convenience as coincidence unlikely. Where does one get out and about to, maybe we have passed somewhere as strangers, known unknowns; unlikely, I’d not walk by, I’d feel the vibe of you.

Maybe you are but a heartbeat from me. Imagine if we had passed each other as strangers, what an opportunity missed that would be. But I feel you are right and we would have known each other, somehow. What beautiful conversation we might have had, and certainly shall have, in the not too distant future.

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His & Hers: Raw Lines #15 – but you won’t believe that either …

His:     Another weekend, short skirt, low top should get you what you need, quickie gratification, live up to why you’re on here. Get touched up for real, jerking off guys on this site must be frustrating for you. I guess most suss you out quite quickly, not so bloody stupid as me to fall for you. By now you may well have had a few drinks so might get to see the real you, what the hell you might actually loosen up and say what you really mean?

Hers:   That message was really horrible and unnecessary.  It’s really quite alarming when I read back through our messages and see how drastically your tone has changed towards me in such a short space of time. I think I was wise not to rush into anything especially as you clearly only see me as cheap and chatting to loads of other men. You couldn’t be more wrong, what a shame, I hope you find what you are looking for.

His:     If you’ve reread our messages then you will know the real me and realise that I had to do something drastic to find the real you. Do you honestly think I wanted to write that? I’ve found what I’m looking for, it’s you.

Hers:   Well if you didn’t want to write it then why did you? It is very hurtful and nasty and I am really not sure at all how I feel about you or anything anymore after you being so horrible to me.

His:     Look, I wrote ‘that’ message for a reason, to shake you up, to see if we really mattered to you, if I really mattered to you? Your reply this morning showed me the real you, the woman I always thought you were – you showed incredible maturity, despite the hurt, the provocation to lash out. You say you’re not sure of how you feel about me now, I think maybe you are even more sure than you were before, you are still messaging me for the same reason as I am you, neither of us could cope with losing each other – it really scares me, I’m still shaking, I took a huge risk last night, I had to, I had to bring things to a head.

Hers:   Your message was cruel and nasty, but you sent it because you wanted to shake me up? I’ve seen another side of you, a side I don’t like. If you really had feelings for me, you wouldn’t have sent a message like that.

His:     There is no way of explaining myself here is there? You know me, but choose to believe I’m bad and nasty, I know you, I know you’re not cheap, that’s why I said it, to get a reaction from you, to snap you out of being so damn passive, so irritatingly evasive, so annoyingly patronising on here. You are forever waiting, for what?  The sun doesn’t shine out of my backside or yours and never will, so please get real, accept us as we are, yes with a few flaws, both a bit bloody minded at times, but wow what a pair we are, what a couple we could be, if only you could see. I guess you want me to go now, if so I’ll respect your wish.

Hers:   I think you’ve shown what type of person you are by writing a message like that. I am an honest and sincere person and don’t like playing mind games, but you clearly do.

His:     I see no possibility of understanding or forgiveness from you so why are you still messaging if I’m so evil, so beneath you, so not your type? What you think matters but what you think about me is wrong, but you’ll never know. It’s such a shame but if you really have nothing left in you for me, then please stop messaging me and I’ll go. And just so you know I got it wrong, I blew it, looks like I’ve lost the woman I love, but you won’t believe that either.

Hers:   Because quite simply I can’t let go. I am desperately trying to work out why you said what you said. It upset me so much but then again it made me realise exactly how much you mean to me. Damn you, I still want you so much.

His & Hers raw words are extracts from a file of fictional messages written in recent years titled ‘Believing Sight Unseen.’ A first novel ‘Sam & Erin’ drawn from these extracts is nearing completion – a second novel ‘Sean & Ellie’ is in progress too.

His & Hers: Raw Lines #14 – Immunised against love

His:     You’re the most complex woman I’ve ever come across – such beauty, obvious intelligence, yet so suspicious and lacking in confidence. You really have been hurt and badly to need to hide yourself on here. That we met here is something of a miracle, that we stay here would be a tragedy and I will not let that happen. I can’t undo your past but I can be of your present, your future, as a friend and whatever else you find within yourself you need of me. I’m real, I’m genuine, above all I’m a man who somehow fell for you, and despite everything, I sense you feel the same?

Hers:   Maybe it’s my intelligence which makes me be suspicious and decide on what I do. I do not want to get hurt again, and that is why I am not rushing things forwards. Everything has its time and place. No tragedies please, just keep positive.

His:     My heart decides when it comes to you, against all logic, or what my mind says. Please listen to yours and if it says you want me, then call me.

Hers:   I have to listen to my head as well and unless the two are in unison I can’t make myself move on. I think we are having fun and I want it to continue and see what happens.

His:     No, we are not having fun. You are at the expense of my emotions. You ignore all I say, only want things to be your way not our way. You’re immunised against love, have not said a single word that shows you want me. Not in any way shown you care. It’s such a tragedy.

Hers:   I think this talk is crazy after only chatting for such a short time. I am sorry that you seem to think I am selfish in some way. I don’t know what you want me to say to that. Makes me feel great so thank you!

His:      Such a short time? Just one word left to say to you… enough!

Hers:   Oh come on. In the grand scheme of things it is crazy to be saying that. Of course I have feelings for you but I cannot declare my undying love for you before we are face to face. Not only would it be naïve it would be meaningless – when I show you and tell you how I feel about you I want it to be special and amazing. The real tragedy is that you want to walk away now, and for what – because I keep my heart inside of me, because I want us to be real.

His & Hers raw words are extracts from a file of fictional messages written in recent years titled ‘Believing Sight Unseen.’ A first novel ‘Sam & Erin’ drawn from these extracts is nearing completion – a second novel ‘Sean & Ellie’ is being worked on too.

His & Hers: Raw Lines #13 – back in touch

His:     The trouble is I doubt you, too much time has gone by, if you really cared you would surely have meet up with me by now. I think back a few months to when you said you loved me, I’d never been so happy, but then you withdrew your love saying you’re not sure, but all the time saying you never say anything unless you mean it. Do you really expect me to still believe that? You’d been saying we will meet soon for months, how gullible do you think I am? Read your so brief messages, where did the woman I used to know go. What the hell has happened to you?

Hers:   Nothing has happened to me, I don’t know why you are saying that? I have issues I’m trying to get over but I don’t like to talk about my problems with you as I don’t want to bring you down so I keep a lot to myself and trapped inside. I feel let down by your message to be honest.

His:    I can’t read your mind, I wish I could. I also wish you would share your problems with me and let me help you through them but I can’t do anything for you if you don’t trust me. Let me through your barrier and have me by your side for as long as you want and need me.

Hers:  Well I’m not asking you to read my mind and I’d rather keep my problems to myself, they are personal and for me to deal with, sorry.

His:    When I got back in touch you said I made you so happy and that I was in your heart, it moved me so much to hear you say that. But since you suggested our next step was to meet, and it was you, I just asked what happens next, you have been so indifferent and evasive. I can accept there’s an imbalance in our feelings for each other but even so, to say the least, I’m confused. I don’t know what to do?

Hers:   I’m a little confused here too as I think you are reading things in the wrong way. I do not think there is an imbalance with our feelings and besides, we all do and show things in a different way. We are not all the same. Please try not to over analyse things as you will drive yourself crazy. You don’t need to do anything, okay.

His & Hers raw lines resumed – extracts from ‘Believing Sight Unseen’ – can’t quite believe it’s been a year since I posted  His & Hers: Raw Lines #12 – subtle breeze…and nine months since Their Days: Sam & Erin’s Story #23 (novel to be published  as  ‘Sam and Erin – Believing Sight Unseen’)

His & Hers: Raw Lines #12 – subtle breeze…

His:

On days like this, sun kissed, a subtle breeze, leaves appearing in awakening trees, inner feelings can break free. Imagine a day like this, the day we meet, how it could be, for you and me. You walk towards me, and I to you, you give a wave and I do too. We now so close our smiles break through, both blush a little as our eyes meet too. Our fingers brush, your hand finds its way to mine. We stroll along, birds sing, nature in all its glory bows to you, your beauty, I bow too.

Hers:

Subtle breeze and leaves – you are such a romantic. Those words of yours paint a thousand images in my mind you know! Blushing a little got me smiling and our eyes meeting. What would we be wearing? I’d like to imagine the whole picture if you don’t think it an odd question?

His:

A quote from Hans Christian Andersen –  ‘just living is not enough, one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower’ – just seems to catch the mood, the way I feel, about my life and you. We share the sunshine, my freedom my choice to be with you, the perfect flower, who gives meaning to my life. What we’ll wear, always a smile, whatever else depends on how we are, we feel, how much we want to give. I see you in my mind, always stunning in a dress, light and floaty in the daytime you hair down, barefoot, we always seem to be in the open, walking, laying on the grass. In the evening, a dress too, figure hugging, we’re dancing, close, all eyes on you.

Hers:

Oh my goodness, that quote and the way you described it relating to you and me actually brought a tear to my eye. I do hope I’m not a disappointment to you when we meet. You put me on such a high pedestal that I’m afraid I’ll not stand up to your expectations of me.

His:

I’ll stand up for you, as you come into sight, when you enter a room, when you need a hug, by day by night. A romantic, yes, yet a realist too.  I know of you only from your words, and those that fall between the lines. We all have flaws, my eyes are open and I adore you for who you are.

Hers:

You really are an amazing man aren’t you? I can’t believe how lucky I am. Being on here I just thought would be a bit of fun. I never ever expected to find someone like you and to feel like this. I love everything about you and I feel that can only grow more as time goes on.

His & Hers – raw lines extracted at random from ‘Believing Sight Unseen’  a file of what was a quarter of a million words – culled to about a hundred and fifty thousand – now turning into stories…

His & Hers: Raw Lines #11 – not trying to tie you down…

His:

You have a good evening, forget about me, enjoy yourself with friends, look absolutely gorgeous, stun everyone who sees you. I’ll wish I could be with you, but it’s not me you want to be with. So go do what makes you happy and turns you on. You only have one life so live it, as you always do. Take care, have fun.

Hers:

Why does that sound like you are saying goodbye to me? Have I done something wrong because that message has left me thinking, so please do let me know.

His:

I felt I’ve been boring you, getting too heavy, burdening you with things I shouldn’t so thought I’d be a lot more positive and lighten up. I just gave myself a slap and a bit of a kick up the arse to accept you’re an incredible young woman and I’m damn lucky to have you in my life at all. I feel alive and not just living because of you. I want to share whatever we can of our lives together, I want us to be real. But saying that I want you to know I’m not trying to tie you down or inhibit you or the way you want to live. I just want you the way you are.

Hers:

I know you’re not trying to tie me down, just don’t scare me like that again! I really thought you were saying you didn’t want me anymore. I felt like crying. I’m so glad it’s not the case.

His & Hers – raw lines extracted at random from ‘Believing Sight Unseen’  a file of what was a quarter of a million words – culled to about a hundred and fifty thousand – now turning into stories…

 

His & Hers: Raw Lines #10 – first thing on a Sunday morning…

His:

I’m feeling let down to be honest. I thought you understood we need to talk. I’m tired of sitting on my arse waiting for you to start this. But hey, don’t rush to reply, do whatever you have planned for today, I really wouldn’t want to spoil anything you enjoy.

Hers:

I do talk to you! I’ve never been so open with anyone. You are spoiling what I enjoy, you, the way you where, what’s got into you?

His:

Come on, it’s obvious you avoid talking about anything to do with us. Do you really think I’m that dumb? You like stringing me along, you’re an expert at it, you’ve been doing it since day one, the very first day we started this. As you said I’m pathetic, I agree, I must be for taking this from you for so long. So let’s keep it simple, you do something for once.

Hers:

And when did I say that you’re pathetic? Why would I speak to you like that? You’re not dumb and there is no need for you to say that. Forcing me to do something isn’t going to make me do so much quicker, don’t you get that? You seem to be so moody lately. You need to calm down.

His:

Well that seems to say it all, you don’t even know what you said two days ago. This is all part of the same thing, the same old problem, you not being able to move on. I’m not forcing you to do anything anyone who really cares would do. I’m calm, why would you think I’m not, all I’m doing is telling you what I see. And please spare me your innocence, just do something for us. I’m tired of being the only one trying to make us work.

Hers:

It’s first thing on a Sunday morning and yet again it’s all me, me, me with you, I’m fed up of your do this, do that moods and messages. This is the last thing I need, stop being so damn pushy, I’ve had enough, okay!

His & Hers: Raw Lines #9 – Maybe all we need are yours?

His:

You know something, you and I are much closer than you believe, we’re not so different it seems to me. You come over as liking your own company, so do I, you like space and freedom to be yourself, as do I, you have commitments and responsibilities that you take seriously, I too very much so, you feel most alive, close to nature, exposed to the sky, the stars, smiling as your imagination soars, as you say to feel warm rain upon your skin, and now and then, like me, so need to feel the tingle of hands upon your body, soft lips exploring you, to feel the beating heart of someone close, their breath their sighs, to sensually let go.

Hers:

It’s crazy how you know me so well – I mean it’s like you are the other half of me. I’ve never had anyone in my life understand me so much, I’m a little spooked now.

His:

It’s not really crazy. There’ve been times when you’ve said what I already know, that we are soul-mates, as if we’re each other’s safe harbour in the ever changing sea of life. As you used to often say, we are connected, I’ve always believed this too, I your anchor, you my soaring angel, free to fly, to be you, not tied down, yet always knowing I’ll not let you go, that I’ll always be there for you. You are the other half of me too. Just felt I had to tell you this, there is nothing spooky, I just take in everything you’ve ever written me, I’ve let you in and feel you inside of me, I’ve grown to know you, it’s quite wonderful.

Hers:

Yes, I do think we’re connected, there’s no question about that at all. When you describe it like that it doesn’t sound spooky, just me not using the right words, maybe all we need are yours.

His & Hers: Raw Lines #8 – Not hearing…

His:

You’re not hearing what I say, you don’t understand I’m way ahead of you, my feelings are the deepest, I’m uncomfortable being without you, uncomfortable with us just being here. There’s more to us than just what you want, what I want matters too. There has to be a way ahead for us. What are we actually waiting for?

Hers:

Please don’t make demands of me. You know my feelings about that. I’m hearing you loud and clear. Maybe you need to keep a firmer grip on your feelings.

His:

I’m not holding back my feelings, how can I they are real. If you can keep a grip on yours then perhaps they’re not so real. I’ve said all I have to say, it’s up to you now.

Hers:

Please can you try and understand what I’m asking for right now is a little reassurance. Don’t attack me when what I need most is for you to show me that you care.

His & Hers – raw lines extracted at random from ‘Believing Sight Unseen’  a file of a man and woman’s words.