Thursday

Sam

Erin, what can I say? This is how my life is. I thought you knew that from the start.  I have no ties, no responsibilities to anyone, and I come and go as I’m asked. I can’t just stop, even if I wanted to. Look, I’ve been straight with you – where I’m going is far too remote to be able to log on to a site like this. I know I’m sounding blunt. I don’t mean to, but I do need you to realise we’ll need to move off of here if you want the chance of a relationship with me.

Erin

I can’t believe you sent me that. You sound so cold and detached, and again you are trying to impose your will on me. It seems I got you wrong and you are not the man I imagined you to be. Oh well.

Sam

Oh, Erin, why be like this? I just want to have a way of keeping in touch with you, that’s all. Is that really too much to ask? Cold and detached? You must be psychic, as I will be, but not in the way you think. I fly to Reykjavik on Sunday then on to Greenland.  The weather is bad right now, but if we can the plan is to move on to the ice cap by Wednesday. So hostile to begin with, then sheer beauty shining through. How about you?

Erin

My head is pounding, Sam. I can’t take all of this in. I am so unsure what to do, I can’t make sense of some of these feelings I have right now. I can’t stop thinking about you. I keep saying it, but I’ve never known a man like you. I didn’t even know men like you existed. I’m almost too scared to ask, but why do you have to be out there?

 

Friday

Sam

I’m walking in the rain alone my head bowed heavy with my thoughts, wanting to tell you more than I can, and I will when we are more secure than we are now. There are plenty of men like me and women too. I’ll have one with me – she goes everywhere I go, keeps me out of trouble, so no need to be scared for me. I’m drenched to the skin but do not want to go in, so I’ll stay outside and steam a while with my thoughts of being inside with you.

Erin

In a minute I’m going to wake up and find that this is all a dream.  No man has ever turned me on the way you do. My imagination is going wild. I need you to go in, to feel how wet I am too.

Sam

Imagine… you walk towards me hands outstretched. I mirror you. Our fingers touch, hands connect, arms enfold, and we embrace. You nuzzle my neck, and my eyes stream dewdrops on your hair. You look up, your eyes glisten, and moisten me. Our warmth creates a mist, mysterious, breathed in, every tear of joy shed condensed within. Lips dare to kiss, tongue tips touch, silently saying so much. We squeeze up tight, spellbound…we say hello.

Erin

You have made my skin come out in goose bumps. I so want the first time we meet to be like this – I so want to be squeezed up close to you.

♦

 

Late May

 

 Monday

 Sam

I didn’t see much point in responding yesterday – we’d have only ended up saying things we’d regret and made things even more difficult than they are. My instincts don’t usually let me down, but you are virgin territory to me. What I felt was a little nudge you took as a hefty push. I can see I will need to handle you with the most gentle and sensual touch.

Erin

You are so good at this, aren’t you, making me feel bad for what I said then making me laugh? ‘Virgin territory’, you silly sod, but then you get me wondering just how unique a man like you could be?

Sam

You don’t have to wonder, Erin, but you’ll have to wait to find out as you can’t make this week. I’ll be off again from next Monday for a couple of weeks, maybe longer – it’s hard to tell until I get out there. What’s keeping you so busy that you don’t even have time for a coffee? I’m not having a dig, I’d genuinely like to know.

Erin

You may not think you are having a dig, but it feels a bit like it to me. It’s obviously not helping with you going away again – it’s putting pressure on both of us. I know you are just wanting coffee and a chat to begin with. I think that is a great idea, but please can we keep chatting on here and sort something out when you get back?

Sam

You’re probably right. I guess we could wait a few weeks to meet, but something has to happen.  A phone call, or even an e-mail? Surely you can see that?

Erin

I know what you are saying, but it is different for women and I’m not comfortable giving out my personal information until we meet. I’ve had a bad experience in the past and I’m now extra cautious, so I hope you can understand my need to feel safe. It’s not you, it’s just the way I am.

 

Wednesday

 

Sam

Hello, Erin, I was in London yesterday and what with one thing and another I didn’t have time to message you, so don’t go thinking I didn’t understand what you said. I did and I’m okay with it. Time is getting very tight for me – I haven’t done a field trip quite like this one for a while, and let’s just say the preliminaries are quite demanding. At least I passed the medical yesterday. How’s life for you?

Erin

Oh my goodness, you really are going away, aren’t you? I hadn’t really taken it in to be honest. Is it really going to be for weeks? I don’t know what to say.  I’m quite upset. You’ll think me silly, but I can’t bear the thought of not hearing from you. Please don’t leave me alone on here.

♦

 

Thursday

 Sam

Hi, Erin, it was manic out here on Wednesday – we wrapped everything up at about 9 pm, then our Belgian colleagues found a restaurant for about twenty of us to literally take over – obligatory fillet steaks and pommes frites, and beer, and more beer, and… well, let’s just say I’m glad it’s a short flight home today. Blushing reveals a lot about you – your sensitivity, your barely hidden vulnerability, your ability to show emotions, and apparently those that blush make great lovers! I may not be blushing, but I’m certainly smiling as I sign off for now.

Erin

How do you do this, Sam? You talk to me as if we have known each other for years not just a couple of weeks and with a sore head too. Some of the things you say I’d feel uncomfortable about with anyone else, but somehow it seems alright with you. So you don’t blush? Well, I’ll have to see what I can do about that when you get back.

 

Friday

 Sam

I send my gifts to you as words:

Flowers, their fragile beauty incomparable to yours

A classic fragrance, subtle, heaven scent as you

Lingerie, sensual, your body to adorn

Chocolate, to brush your lips, to taste sublime within

My thoughts, stroked from my heart to yours.

 Happy Birthday, Erin, I wish I could give you more.

Erin

Oh my goodness, Sam, you’ve brought tears to my eyes. I’m so flattered and overwhelmed by your lovely words. I wish I were with you right now to show you how very grateful I am. How could a girl want more than you have given me? Thank you so much, I’m almost speechless. Things like this don’t happen to me.

 

 Saturday

Sam

Hi, Erin, just a quick one. I stayed at a friend’s last night, but I’m now back home to a pile of junk mail through my letterbox, a misnomer if ever there was one. Made me think back to my youth, and a teenage girlfriend I’d met on holiday. Her letters I remember most – she was the first girl to show feelings for me through her written words. Decades on, another world, and written words connect us too – pull us close enough to touch, to feel something inside.  Have a great night out with your friends – short skirts, low tops and killer heels, or have I got you wrong?

Erin

Your messages take me to another world. Each one shows me a bit more of you. I love it, I really do. If I tried to do the same mine would be rubbish next to yours. If that’s your quick one, Sam, I’m going to be a very lucky girl – and yes, we will be girly girls tonight!

 

Sunday

 Sam

Erin, you stir so many things in me, we have to meet and soon. Let’s try to sort something out for next week.

Erin

I know that we need to meet, and I want to, it’s not just a case of having to, okay? We just need to get the timing right and I’m sorry, but next week is not right for me. I can’t help it, I just have too much on. I had no idea we’d get this close this quick when we started this.

Sam

The thing is, Erin, and I’d thought you would have realised this, I’m only in the UK next week then I’ll be away for a while and won’t be able to keep in touch. Well, at least not on a site like this. Look, I’ll be in London on Tuesday. Why don’t we meet up at lunchtime, just a quick coffee if you like? It would be so good to see you before I go.

Erin

Excuse me, what kind of message is that? Just what am I supposed to have realised? You’re the one who needs to look, Sam, I’ve told you I can’t meet up with you next week. It feels to me as though you are trying to tell me what to do and I don’t like it. I think you are being very unfair pushing me like this.

♦