EDC Shorts: ‘lines’ – prose – poetry #48

@EDC_Writing  – #Hashtag lines: 29 Nov’17  [#1lineWed: ‘trust’]

“Little by little in your own way tell me something of you, about you, let me slowly in, and as each day passes as you feel more as one with me, I’ll grow to know more of you, and as your faith grows, trust will follow, and the day will come when I am there beside you”

…..

“I care about you more than you know, whether it is love I don’t know. I find it hard to say I love someone I have only spoken to via messages, I know the onus is on me to change this, and I will, until then I ask you to please trust me and your feelings for me.”

 

[Source: Believing Sight Unseen – ‘His & Hers’ words file]

#16 Their Days: Indiscretion – Down to me

The previous phase ‘Exposure’ now has two additional posts #13 & #14 which set the scene for ‘Indiscretion’ 

The narrative scene which starts ‘Indiscretion’ was posted prematurely and has now been renumbered as #15

Indeed a work in progress!

…..

Friday

Sam:

I’ve been struggling for words, at least the right ones, I hope these are? I’m trying to sort out what matters in my head, to see where we’ve been, how things are, how we move on from here. It’s hard when you love what we have on here and I’d love to be with you. We seem to have grown to know ourselves a little better as we’ve become closer. Yet I know next to nothing about you that I could tell someone, but feel I know you as no other. It’s as if we’re fluent in another language, the linguistics of our hearts? I really don’t know, do you?

Erin:

Yes, I suppose we are getting to know ourselves as well as one another. I hadn’t thought of it like that before. I’m glad you got back in touch with me you know?

Sam:

I hadn’t realised I’d been away? As I say I’ve been looking at us, seeing things as they are. Your mixed messages and the brevity of your replies isn’t helping me or us much. I’m not sure what to expect of you, not sure if you have anything more to give. You seem immovable from your life on here, detached from doing anything for us.

Erin:

Even a day of not hearing from someone on here can feel a lot longer than it is. I am not sure what it is you are trying to say, but I would suggest you just say what it is in the bluntest form possible?

Sam:

Erin, I’m not trying to say anything I have not said before. You know how much I need to move on from here, yet you linger on this site for what seems to me one reason, you do not believe I am the man for you. So hardly surprising I am confused when you say you need me, that I’m your friend, yet do absolutely nothing to see me. I’ve nothing blunt to say, I’ve always felt the need of you, to be yours. It’s such a shame you can’t find it in you to believe me.

Erin:

I do believe you could be the man for me, but it takes longer than a few weeks to get to know someone you have never talked to before, don’t you agree? So I want to know who the real person is who I feel all this passion for.

Sam:

Erin, why say we have only known each other a few weeks when it’s been months since we started messaging. It worries me that you choose to have no memory of our past, the feelings we’ve exchanged for so very long. Being on here is your choice not mine. I’d like to talk to you but you won’t let me call. I’d love to meet you but know better than to ask. Its time you made your mind up don’t you think; to let me into your real life, or not?

Erin:

I don’t know why. It just doesn’t seem as though it has been as long as that. I haven’t forgotten the things that we have shared, only didn’t realise it had been so long. When you put it that way, yes, it is down to me.

#14 Their Days: Exposure – This weekend?

Monday

Sam:

Somehow we’ll see this through, be off of here, and be together, me and you. It’s what I think of most, the times we have to come. I see you in my mind, try to imagine how you look, your hair, your clothes, what you wear beneath, what it would be like to feel the softness of your skin. I so need to see your smile, to hold your hand I’ll not willingly let go. I think of the things we’ll say, the laughter, the fun, how at ease we’ll be, as us.

Erin:

You say such wonderful things to me, Sam. Where do you get all of these lovely words from? You must have such an amazing imagination, I dare not write the things I’m imagining!

Sam:

I have an idea or two about what we could do this weekend; to explore each other a little, to see where we’d like to go next?  I’ve no idea where you live other than it must be quite close to London, as I am too. I’m quite flexible, what day and locality would be best for you?

Erin:

Are you going to share these ideas with me? I would love to know what sort of places you enjoy going to. Do you think we can do something casual that doesn’t involve booking anything as that would seem a little too formal for me.

Sam:

Erin, of course, informal is fine for me. I enjoy all sorts of places, it’s who you’re with and how you feel that matters. We will have a great time, just let me know where and when?

Erin:

Sam, you’re so right it’s the company that you are in that makes a good night out. Sometimes if it’s not a nice place but you’re with a person you really want to be with it makes everything okay.

 

Tuesday

Sam:

I didn’t sleep well last night. I had this niggling thought that you are going to back out of meeting up this weekend. Thankfully daylight has cleared my head. So, Erin, I’ll ask again, where and when works best for you?

Erin:

This has all happened so fast though. Don’t you think we should slow down and really talk about us and our feelings? I really don’t want this to end but I am also scared it will all fizzle out if we rush things.

Sam:

Come on, Erin, do not falter. Have faith in your feelings, and in mine for you. We’ve taken a long time to get to this moment, a time in our lives when happiness is ours to have. Have the courage to meet and through our smiles, our eyes, our spoken words you will see we are truly right for each other, not for a while, but for ever.

Erin:

When you put it like that you make me believe that everything is going to be alright. I so hope that you are right because I really believe that you and I have something very special. I ache for you, Sam.

Sam:

Erin, we are very special, an inseparable part of each other. It will be so wonderful to see you. I can’t stop smiling at the thought of being with you soon, I feel so happy, my eyes are misting, overflowing with all I feel for you. We are so close, just a few days away from being all we’ve spoken of on here.

Erin:

I have never come across such a romantic and kind hearted man as you, Sam. I know I couldn’t ask anything more of you. I’m trying to be strong, yet I’m so anxious, please be patient with me.

Sam:

I’d be really disappointed if you still have any concerns about me, especially now. To be honest I find it hard to reconcile what we feel for each other with being on here, we don’t need this site surely?

Erin:

We will have to sort something out that is for sure, something that is good for both of us. I agree that messaging, good as it is, is not enough.

Sam:

Oh please don’t get too enthusiastic, I might actually think you are keen to meet!  Amazing after all you’ve said to me. I thought we were there, but it seems just nearly.

Erin:

Sam, please, it doesn’t help you being sarcastic with me. It’s really not something I appreciate, okay!

Sam:

Is that really the best you have to offer?

Erin:

I’m sorry, Sam, I don’t mean to be difficult. I love what we have here. I guess I can be immature at times. You know so much more about life than me, you see things how they are but I still have things to learn. I hope you won’t give up on us and that you’ll guide me to you.

Sam:

I won’t give up on us but you do need to accept that we need to get off this site and keep in touch directly. I realise it took a lot for you to admit you may have things to learn, we both have, not least to have complete faith in each other.

Erin:

Well, yes, I can see that but I am not willing to come off of this site until we have met up in person.

Sam: 

Erin, our future is in your hands. It’s up to you now to do the right thing for us. We are not strangers yet you treat me like one. It’s time we moved on, one way or another?

Erin:

I am not treating you like a stranger, you know I’m not. That is quite a hurtful remark for you to make, Sam. Just be a little patient with me, please, I’m asking for just a little more time.

#13 Their Days: Exposure – Almost there

Sunday

Sam:

Erin, I’ll hold you to that, and every inch of me. It will be so wonderful to see you, the woman I believe you are. I can’t stop smiling at the thought of being with you soon. My heart is thumping as I write, we are so close, just a week away from being all we dreamed. This is our time now; we each deserve to be happy, to be in each other’s arms.

Erin:

Your message really has made me feel somewhere between laughing with sheer happiness and crying with emotion. Sam, I don’t know what you are doing to me but I can’t get you out of my head. I fancy you something rotten but at the same time you have become my friend – there’s no one who understands me the way you do. I know that being in your arms will feel where I belong. I can only hope you feel the same.

Sam:

I feel as though I’m walking on air, in a world with only you. You to me are beyond a dream. I ache beyond belief to see you, to hold you close, to kiss your lips. Where I belong is where you are – my future entwined with yours.

Erin:

I think you are too good to be true, I don’t mean that in a horrible way though. I just mean I have never known anyone like you. It does feel a lot like a dream, as if it can’t be real that a man like you exists, that a man like you wants me.

Sam:

I’m real, I’m yours. I exist to be with you, to share your life, as your man, your friend, as whatever you need of me. Another week, I hope and pray it will be the last I have without you. My only wish, my one desire, is to make you happy. We have a future, a good one – please let’s make sure we happen.

Erin:

Do you really believe we can bring that much happiness into one another’s lives. I know that I am happy now but can it really last?

Sam:

It can and will Erin. Be strong, hold on, till next weekend then I’ll be strong enough for both of us and you will see that, yes, all this has been worth it, and yes we are really meant to be. Do not weaken, we have almost reached out far enough to touch each other, just imagine how wonderful that will be! Put your trust in your feelings for me, as I do yours for me. I am absolutely putting my faith in you to bring us together.

Erin:

I will be strong in the knowledge that you are there both with me and for me. I’m sure that all this will be well worth the wait. I keep having to pinch myself to make sure that I’m not just in a lovely dream.

Sam:

I so want to be with you, every day of waiting now is almost too much to bear. I am absolutely committed to you; you are my girl, my perfect woman. I would like to start my life afresh with you, us as a couple, sharing life together in every way.

Erin:

Heavens that is such a powerful statement to make and I feel a little nervous to be honest. I do want you as much as I have said I do but I do worry that you are putting too much in to us. Have you even thought of the possibility that when we meet I may not be what you have conjured up in your head and then you would feel let down. I am sorry if I sound a bit negative but I really do need you to keep your feet on the ground.

Sam:

I understand what you are saying Erin, I do see where you are coming from. I realise that for you our romance is something you hope for but until we meet is not a given. But you know Erin there is no way you could let me down, as you say I know you, you have become my friend too as well as the woman I adore. When we meet, nothing that I see or hear from you could ever change that. What lies ahead for us will be good I’m certain, and you are right, we’ll take it step by step, date by date and enjoy the pleasure of being with each other.

Erin:

I know, I feel the same, but I really want to make sure that this is real and not just the first flush of a new relationship. I want this to work and not be a fool again.

#12: Exposure – Saying too much

Thursday

Sam:

I absolutely love it when you loosen up and show more of yourself to me. There is so much of you I long to see. I want to come to know your ways, the things that turn you on, and be as one with you.

Erin:

I am glad that you like this side to me and this if I am honest is probably the most open I’ve ever been with anyone. You excite me and at the same time I feel comfortable with you. But I have to say sometimes I turn to the dark side if you should call it that, when I have had grief from people about being on here. I confess it may have been a bad idea to have told some of my friends as much as I have. We know what we have and that is all that should matter isn’t it?

Sam:

Erin, what matters is us, how we got to know each other is irrelevant. It happens to be on here, so what. There is absolutely nothing wrong with us, we are getting to know each other so well, our inner thoughts and yes our moods. We’ve had a head start, we’ve grown to trust and have faith in each other, and no matter what your friends might think, and yes I can understand their misplaced concerns, they don’t know me as you do, and perhaps don’t know you as I do. I’m ready are you?

Erin:

I know it shouldn’t matter but I don’t like people judging me and looking down their noses when we’ve done nothing wrong. It just angers me a bit that’s all. Nobody is perfect but they seem to think they can pass judgement on us. I really get stressed out when things like that cross my mind.

 

Friday

Sam:

I keep trying to write, something, anything, which could make a difference. That could make you see there is no harm in me. That there is no reason for us not to have a coffee and activate the chemistry between us face to face. I just don’t have the words, least not on here, to overcome your doubts, your fears. That’s what all this ‘friends’ talk is about really isn’t it? As long as we’re on here we’ll not amount to anything, and you’ll have proved your friends right. But if you can show your happiness from the moment that we meet and the ways we find to share our lives, they’ll realise against all odds the joy of you and me.

Erin:

Oh please do not say that we will not come to anything, as can you not see how heart broken and angry I am with myself. I do not need to hear that you are as well as that would be torture for me. All I want to do is make you happy and have you be proud of me, but I am too scared. Do you know how I hate myself right now.

Sam:

Erin, I hope you’re home safe, no matter how you feel about yourself right now, no matter what your friends have said that has hurt you so deeply, you are and always will be a very special woman to me. My heart is not broken and nor should yours be. My feelings for you are as they have always been, and always will be, you are an irreplaceable vital part of me. If you feel anger then use it to give you strength to set free the loving caring woman I know you to be, if not for me, then for yourself. And be sure of this, I’d be proud to stand by you, as my friend, my soul-mate and my lover, to be any one of these or all, would make me happy.

Erin:

You are the most adoring and gentle man, you’re everything I hoped, I imagined the perfect man could be. Just give me a little time and I will make you feel so proud for me to be your woman.

 

Saturday

Sam:

Hello Erin, how’s your weekend going? I hope you and your friends are seeing eye to eye again, I really do. I would not want to be the cause of any animosity between them and you, a man on the internet, a man you’ve never seen. How could they grasp all we feel, how could they understand the way fate worked for me and you. How we met on here a mystery, a miracle. I just know we are meant to be, but how could they? How could they know how long ago I fell for you. If only they could see how good I am for you and you are for me?

Erin:

That’s just the point. They only see you as a man on the internet, suspect, even dangerous, like the man who badly hurt me. They don’t understand our relationship or our feelings for each other. Too bad, they will just have to accept that it’s my life and my choice.

Sam:

I obviously touched a nerve asking how things were between you and your friends. I’m not too sure from your reply exactly what it is that you have told them and what you need them to accept as you choice of how to live? That you have been deeply hurt has long been obvious to me, I won’t dwell on this unless you want to talk about it? I do want you to feel free to talk to me about anything at all. You know I’ll always listen and believe in you. It goes without saying I wish we were together. That you’d let me help you smile, and laugh, and even cry, to just be yourself and know that all I’ll ever want from you is to be the woman I know you are.

Erin:

No, let’s not dwell on it. It’s one friend in particular thinks she knows everything. Let’s focus on us and being happy and my friends will see that I am happy and that’s what should matter to them, right? I love that you are a part of my life; you are the right man for me. I am ready Sam, let’s make next weekend the beginning of everything for us.

 

[EDC Writing©2017 – Their Days]

#11: Exposure – The things friends say

Monday

Sam:

How is your friend, I hope she is well on the mend. I broke four of my ribs a few years ago. Took a while to recover, but then I’m a restless kind of man. I feel that you are, but please tell me you are okay?

Erin:

My boobs took most of my impact; they went a bit purple for a while. Don’t worry, no harm done! My friend is much better now thank you and back in her own place. I think I’ve been driving her mad talking about you. I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been telling my friends about us, I can’t wait for them to meet you and for you to be a part of my life. Some of them have been a bit cheeky asking if you would be up for a three-some! Don’t even think about it Sam, I’ve told them you are all mine. You are aren’t you?

 

Tuesday

Sam:

Friends… I have one who knows about you. I didn’t tell her, she worked it out, something to do with me talking in my sleep, and no, not with her; well not exactly. As it happens I saw her last week, the first time we’d met up since we were in Greenland. I’ve mentioned her before; she took my ‘profile’ photo. We’ve been to some inhospitable places, all in the name of science! Bottom line she was shocked that we had not met up and told me exactly what she thought was going on. Not at all complimentary to either you or me. Made me think, do you get reactions like this from your friends when you talk of us?

Erin:

My friends are excited for me and know you must be a very special man, because I keep telling them! My closest friend looks out for me but as yet she hasn’t said too much. She is the only one who knows about the bad experience I had which as you well know has made me very cautious. I remember you telling me about your colleague, I hadn’t realised you were that close. She sounds as if she might be jealous of me. I admit I feel a bit that way with her. Anyway exactly what does she think is ‘going on’ here then?

Sam:

She thought you had ‘Daddy issues’ and you were just using me as an emotional sop. She said she was amazed that I was dumb enough to fall for it and mad to think you would ever meet me. And for good measure I was effectively paying for you to make me feel good, actually it was worse than that!  I tried to explain, but she’s a bit headstrong, and up and left and we haven’t spoken since. The sooner we are out in the open, and face whatever we might have to, the better don’t you think?

Erin:

Oh my God, I am absolutely furious. Who the hell does she think she is? She clearly feels bad about herself for her to be making those assumptions. Are you going to be able to handle her, I’m worried she’ll try to mess things up for us.

Sam:

I must admit I didn’t expect that reaction from her. Maybe it’s just as well I have not told anyone else about us. I guess it would be a stretch for anyone to get their heads around our relationship. It’s taken us quite a while hasn’t it. Anyway I’m sure Amy will be fine, I caught her cold so to speak. I’ll be seeing her next week, work wise, so I doubt anything more will be said.

Erin:

It just makes me so mad that a friend could be so hurtful and say what she said to you. You are an amazing person and nobody should be needed to make you feel good as you are beautiful inside and out. I am so sorry that I have made things awkward for you with her. Sam, I am not playing games with you or your feelings and never will. I am genuine and I’ve fallen for you.

 

Wednesday

Sam:

I do not know what to say, no one has ever said the things you have to me. Beautiful inside, if by chance I am it’s your beauty permeating me, beautiful outside, you must be dazzled by the sun reflecting on to me your own. I thank you from my heart though for saying this to me. I tell you Erin I am already with you in spirit, heart and mind, and when you are ready I will be physically too, my hand in yours, to give as much joy and happiness as your heart can hold.

Erin:

I feel like I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Your sweet and caring words make me so happy. I am so glad that we have met on here, and think that the gods put you in my path so that we can have a future together. My life was so empty until you came along. The only thing that counts now is me and you and nobody else.

 

[EDC Writing©2017 – Their Days]

#10: Exposure – So much to talk about

Saturday

Sam:

And you are telling me what exactly?

Erin:

I’ve been looking after a friend, a girlfriend, who was once my lover. The night of the Saturday you came home from Greenland we were forced off the road; the car rolled for what seemed forever. I had just a few cuts and bruises, my friend not so lucky, concussed and broken ribs. I’ve had to deal with her being in hospital and the police, and to help her recover she moved in with me. I couldn’t leave her on her own and I couldn’t tell you; I wasn’t sure you’d understand?

Sam:

I’m numb. I have no words I trust myself to use.

Erin:

I don’t know what to say now. I’ve been so nervous waiting to hear from you. I’m frightened that you are going to walk away. I need you to stick with me. We can keep going, can’t we?

Sam:

The thing is you do not need me to keep going. When all is said and done, I have a flaw – I am a man. You do not need me as a lover, you have one and she’s a woman.

Erin:

Please, Sam, be the man I’ve always hoped you are. Yes, it’s taken a long time for me to realise, but I definitely want you and in every way possible. I’ve done nothing wrong, just held back that I’m a little different. I like men and women, some men like that.

Sam:

Done nothing wrong?  I am sorry, but how can you say that? You’ve said so much of me being a part of your life, yet you kept me at arm’s length while going through this. What of your female lover? Are you sure you want a man? Are you really going to go straight for me because I do not want to share you.

Erin:

I can’t become straight; it doesn’t work like that. I’m bisexual, it’s in my DNA. Come on, Sam, you’re the scientist, you should know that. When I am with someone male or female I am committed to them, and I choose to be with that one person exclusively. If we decided to do that then I would be with you.

Sam:

This is so crazy, so absolutely mad; I need to know what you expect of me.

Erin:

I know how you feel, and you know how I feel. The only thing that remains to be seen is if I am worth the trouble you obviously think I’ll be for you. No matter how right I believe we are for each other, my life is more complicated than most. I can’t change that. If you felt the way you say you do about me you would understand and accept me, no matter what the circumstances.

 

Sunday

Sam:

Deep within you there is a place of peace; breathe slow and easy and you will find it: where your heart and mind can meet to show your truest feelings. Relax and close your eyes, let your worries float away to leave you as one with your passions and desires. If I am there with you, in any shape or form, there is a chance for us. If I am nowhere to be seen or felt within you then sadly the day has come for you to let me go. I have done this often and you are always in me. I see you all the time, but I ask you to honestly tell me if I am in you too.

Erin:

I tell you honestly, Sam, you are in my heart and I never want to lose you. It is you I wake up thinking about, you who I eat lunch with and think about, and you who I go to bed dreaming about.

Sam:

We have so much to talk about. Time and circumstance are not our friends but for both our sake I want us to work. I so want to hold your hand, strange man that I am.

Erin:

No, you are not strange at all. Holding hands and giving each other a little squeeze is what I need more than anything right now. I just worry about being in your world and yes you being in mine too; us being over before we’ve begun. We will both have to be so careful and take care to make us work. We will get our time, I am sure of that.

 

[EDC Writing©2017 – Their Days – posted Monday & Wednesday]

EDC Shorts: lines – ‘prose’ – poetry #6

Reality?

“You don’t agree then?”

“It’s not that simple … well it is, but not the way you see it”

“Okay, run that by me again”

“The thing is there is no answer, by the time we’ve measured it’s moved on”

“What has … time or entity?”

“Both, I believe, ever shifting, never reaching equilibrium”

“So you’re saying there’s no steady state, nothing to which we can relate?”

“Quite the opposite, we relate to everything, we just don’t know anything”

“That can’t be right, look how much we’ve published”

“I rest my case, by the time it’s out there, we take another view”

“Look at all the rules, the fundamentals, universally taught”

“A form of history, stories given as facts”

“What are you saying … we know nothing”

“In a way … we read as was, time lined perceptions of reality”

“What is reality to you?”

“The possibly that I’m here”

“What about me”

“If I am you are too”

“I can’t get my head around this”

“You will, yours is part of mine”

“Got it, I see what you’re saying now”

“Yes, but have you heard”

#9: Exposure – Need to tell you something

Wednesday

Sam:

I fear this could be too little too late? My heart is screaming at my mind, what have you done, she is the one. My head is throbbing fit to burst, but slowly a warm flow is reaching that awful cold place my man logic erupted from. I cannot promise it will not happen again, but my heart now has me firmly in its grasp. It does not want to risk losing you again.

Erin:

You have had me in agony waiting for your reply. I want you and only you. Your heart is right, ignore your doubts. You can’t truly love if you have doubt in your heart. There is no doubt in mine.

Sam:

I felt so tense opening your reply and so completely overwhelmed by what you said; I keep re-reading to be sure of the implication of your words. I’ve been so selfish; I do not think I had ever taken in just how deep your feelings for me are. I always hoped but never thought you could feel the same way about me as I do for you. I need you, Erin, I always will.

Erin:

Your message has brought tears to my eyes. I’m being silly now, aren’t I? I just feel so strongly for you.

Sam:

You are not being silly; our hearts know better than our minds what we are to each other and become so frustrated with us that they are letting our bodies know through tears and aches in need to be relieved places. My body is tingling as I type, my senses so heightened at the thought of your touch, the whole of me so wanting the whole of you.

Erin:

You are such a romantic – I absolutely love it and everything you have said. I pray once I am in your arms and we are looking into each other’s eyes, everything will be perfect for us.

 

Thursday

Sam:

There is not a day you are not in my thoughts; you are a part of me. You are the one who opened up my heart and showed me how to feel. I realise I’ve made mistakes, that I suffocated you with emotion, that I did not give you room to breathe. I hardly let myself breathe. I know very little but sense and feel so much. You are real and out there somewhere, I am out there too and always will be for you.

Erin:

You are just unbelievably good at this, aren’t you? I so don’t understand why you have not been snapped up and appreciated in the way I intend to. Let’s just take things slowly, Sam, and you’ll not regret it, I promise.

Sam:

I can only wonder what is so wrong, so sensitive in your life that you need to be so cautious. It’s what you mean by slowly, I know. Still, I have your promise and sense it’s not given lightly.

Erin:

I know the onus is on me to change this, and I will as soon as humanly possible. Until then I ask you to please trust your senses, and your well-placed judgement and feelings for me.

 

Friday

Sam:

I do not want to lose you. There have been too many words, too many feelings, too many tears, for us to fail now. I do not want to hurt you, and I do not want any more misunderstandings. I know I want you, but how? You hold all the cards, yet they’re now so shuffled out of suits I think you do not know how to deal them. There are only two that matter: a knave and his queen, his reason to gamble that one day she will share her world with him, her king. I’ll say no more for now, and trust to fate, and the hand she gives.

Erin:

That was so well said, please hold on to your belief in me; I have come too far to ruin everything. Sam, I pray so much that all this is real. I am scared, but I need to tell you something that you need to know.

Sam:

Don’t be scared, Erin, there’s not a thing you could say or show me that would ever make me feel other than I do. You are and always will be the woman I desire.  I just know we’ll get on fine, share endless laughs and pleasures, and that we’ll both have similarly sensually mischievous minds. You never cease to touch me when you show my words touch you. Please tell me whatever you feel I need to know, and while I wait I’ll ask you, in the time honoured old-fashioned way, to step out of the shadows and walk a while with me.

Erin:

Your words have wrecked me. I can’t stop crying; no one in my life has ever touched me as you have. Sam, the only thing I want to say is yes, but first I have to lay myself open to you.

Sam:

Erin, it’s now very late, and I’m tired, but I will not end this day until I give you a chance to say what you feel you need to.  I guess there is a man involved in some way?

Erin:

You have got it wrong, Sam, it’s not a man, it’s a woman.

 

[EDC Writing©2017 – Their Days – posted Monday & Wednesday]

#8: Exposure – If only this was easier

Tuesday

Sam:

Hi, Erin, I’m at Heathrow, just waiting for a taxi. Should be home in about an hour. Do you want to meet up? I don’t mind where. It’ll be easier to talk face to face, don’t you think? Hope to see you later.

Erin:

Sam, lol, your timing; I’m waiting for a friend to call me back. I’ll probably stay with her tonight. I just need someone to hold me, and to get a little drunk with. I’m not coping too well on my own. Good to hear you are home though.

 

Wednesday

Sam:

Good to hear I’m home? You are completely confusing me! I am trying to help you but you do not seem to need it? I thought we had something, yet you can’t wait even a day for me. You’ve got me thinking!

Erin:

Can you just slow down a bit. I am feeling really overwhelmed with all that’s going on and I need to be with someone I know, that’s all. Look, Sam, you are getting too heavy too fast, and I can’t cope right now, okay.

Sam:

I really feel for you, you know that. Whatever’s going on in your life right now, little if anything, seems good. I can’t say I understand because you’ve still not told me anything. We have something good, don’t we?

Erin:

I really don’t know what we have if I am being honest. I think I have feelings for you, but I can’t deal with them right now. I’m feeling pressured and I hate that. You are truly a great guy but I just feel, I am so sorry to say this, that you are suffocating me. I just want things to slow way down. Please give me space to sort myself out. Sorry.

 

Thursday

Sam:

Where did that come from?  It was only a couple of days ago that you said you don’t want to be given space and now I’m suffocating you? Not for the first time, you’re not making much sense to me. We both know that we need to move forward and for me it needs to be this week.

Erin:

Okay, well, I am reading that and thinking you are not really as into this as I am. Yes, I know that we have to move to the next step and that’s what we’re trying to do, aren’t we? If only it could be a bit easier, that’s all!

Sam:

I sense real desperation in you which makes me so annoyed with myself that I have clearly failed to earn your trust.  Such a shame as talking to me would be easier than you seem to think. Believe it or not I am the kind of man who listens, the kind of man you will have never spoken to before.

Erin:

I do find it hard to open up about problems but that is because I have had it thrown back in my face before. I’m sure you are trustworthy, but maybe it is my own courage that’s the problem?

 

Friday

Sam:

We both appear to be struggling. I try to be a decent man for you but admit I find my self-respect waning being on a site like this.  My mind says you are unable to give, yet my heart says otherwise.

Erin:

Okay, cards on the table. I want to be with you; I mean everything I say to you, but I also feel pressured by you at the moment into moving on so hurriedly! It’s not really your fault I am feeling pressured, it’s in me to react to pressure so I apologise for that.  But please understand, I am not having a go at you, I am just asking you to let me sort myself out, in my time. I will be with you, I promise you that.

Sam:

Sometimes I wonder if you actually believe some of the seemingly credible excuses you come up with. Why don’t you simply have the decency to say that you enjoy the fantasy of messaging and that though you may believe it at the time, when it comes to the reality of commitment in any form, you are incapable of showing it. I feel such a fool to have let you mislead me.

Erin:

I am not at all sure how I respond to that message! Nobody is saying you are a fool, but you are not truly giving me the time and space I need. I keep telling you I hate being pushed, but you keep on doing it. Please don’t be like this; I hate that you think I don’t trust you because I do. I promise you, it will all be worth the wait, and one day we will laugh about this.

 

Saturday

Sam:

My heart is leaking you, my every nerve on edge as I tell you that I am not able to go on like this. This site for you is a sanctuary; for me it is a prison. I have said and done all I can to bring us together but failed. Erin, there is nothing else I can do. To stay on here would be torture. You probably cannot see it but you are pushing me away, pushing me beyond the limits of what I can take.

Erin:

Come on, please don’t be like that. I didn’t realise you feel I am pushing you away; this is just madness. We have a good thing here; I don’t want it to end.  I really care for you, and will make it happen soon. That is if you still want me?

 

Sunday

Sam:

I am not going to message for a while. Maybe if you re-read your messages you’ll see what I see, someone who cannot bring herself to give anything for us. Your reasons, no doubt good ones, but I wouldn’t know.

Erin:

Okay, well go then! Honestly, I am totally gutted that you can just leave me like this!

 

[EDC Writing©2017 – Their Days – posts on Monday & Wednesday]