She’d told him
well not that
she’d told him
fragments, missing bits
he’d asked once
to her face
he’d asked once
too often, mistake
EDC Writing – Believing Sight Unseen
'odd lines, short poems, bits of prose'
She’d told him
well not that
she’d told him
fragments, missing bits
he’d asked once
to her face
he’d asked once
too often, mistake
You think so?
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with these two, yes.
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Some things are better left unsaid.
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and never asked of…
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I am confused, Eric.
Are these the two mistakes?
“he’d asked once
to her face
he’d asked once
too often, mistake”
Why are they mistakes?
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The idea is that she’d told him all she was going to of her own free will, yet despite that he asked her, the asking his mistake, she’d say no more to him, of anything. Sorry, G – my words not always too easily understood – the downside of writing spontaneously in pre-dawn England light.
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That’s exactly how I understood it. But still I do not know why was a mistake.
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If he knew her as she thought he did he would have accepted what she said was all she could yet (to her) he pushed – and she wouldn’t be – the beginning of the end of her trust.
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That’s crystal clear now, Eric. Thank you 🙂
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My pleasure, Gabriela – this one of those rare posts when I know enough of what I mean to explain it – and you one of very few for who I’d willing try too.
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I love it.
I can understand (and empathise) from both points of view 🖤
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Thank you – what you say and what don’t say it’s hard to get right – whatever right is?
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Absolutely 🖤
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Sometimes it’s better to wait. Or stop wondering.
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I can only speak (for real) as a man – wondering is part of our DNA – as for waiting we’re not genetically wired that way!
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