EDC Shorts: lines – ‘prose’ -poetry #51

Messaging after dark … #2 of 2



Come on Emily, let’s not cover old ground again. I’ve explained before why I came on here, why I started messaging, that the only reason I am on here is for you. I would love to be off of this site, but we’ve been through that too. I know it’s not going to happen until you feel able to meet me.


I appreciate what you are saying, but we haven’t bumped into each other on the street or in a club. We have met on the internet which comes with caution in my eyes. You really do need to remember you throw me each time you disappear and then come back again. Why do you keep doing this to me?


The reasons have always been the same. Your inability to keep past promises, my frustration that you so often said you cared and trusted me yet would never tell me anything personal about yourself, you not having faith in me to respect the privilege of having direct contact with you, do I need to go on. All these things have come between us before but you chose to ignore them. I now realise that if we are to have a chance it can only come through your desire, mine has long been there. I want and need us to be real. So yes, hard lessons learnt.


I am so very sorry that you feel this way. I have not been stringing you along. I thought we would have met ages ago but it has just not happened yet. I don’t really know what to suggest. I want you to be happy in life, but I am not sure I can give you what you want. I am not perfect I know that, I have my faults, and yes I do lack in confidence, but I assure you I am genuine. I am truly sorry if you do not believe me.


I believe you, Emily, and have no doubt that you are real and genuine. It’s taken a long time, too long, I know, for me to at last understand you well enough to say this. I promise you I mean it. My past reasons for leaving here are as I say in the past. I know just how much I feel for you. I’ve never known my heart ache as much as the times words have not passed between us. I’m here now because I need to be close to you, to at least have this much of you in my life, and hope for so much more. To me you mean more than anyone I’ve ever known. Emily, I’ll not willingly ever let you go again.


I’m glad you believe and trust me, but it has taken a lot of time to get to this point hasn’t it? I admit I am quite a closed person, yet somehow you have found a way in. Please, let’s just concentrate on our future together, and let me see the man behind the words.


I’d love for us to now concentrate on our future together. Just writing those words make me feel so good about us. When I think of you, it’s always with you smiling; us side by side, holding hands. I have such a sense of romance, of serenity, of the magic that is us, of our need of each other. Emily, I have no doubt, we are meant to be.


I thought we were meant to be too, and still think that.  But we do have to move on from our misunderstanding as I am not here for an up and down relationship. I just want to be happy and for everything to be plain sailing. Is that too much to ask?


You are here and I am here and that is all that matters now. For me it’s even more fundamental. What matters most is that we are in touch, that we communicate, that we let our feelings show. What I write to you comes from how I feel deep within, love from a giving heart. Whatever life may bring to me, I already have what means most, the feeling that I am as one with the woman that I love.


That is a really beautiful message. I feel so very lucky to have you in my life. I can feel your heart is so full of love and kindness. I promise you will find I’m worth the wait. The day will come when we will laugh about this, holding hands together. Goodnight my darling, Shaun.


[Source: Believing Sight Unseen ‘His & Hers’ words file]

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