#12: Exposure – Saying too much



I absolutely love it when you loosen up and show more of yourself to me. There is so much of you I long to see. I want to come to know your ways, the things that turn you on, and be as one with you.


I am glad that you like this side to me and this if I am honest is probably the most open I’ve ever been with anyone. You excite me and at the same time I feel comfortable with you. But I have to say sometimes I turn to the dark side if you should call it that, when I have had grief from people about being on here. I confess it may have been a bad idea to have told some of my friends as much as I have. We know what we have and that is all that should matter isn’t it?


Erin, what matters is us, how we got to know each other is irrelevant. It happens to be on here, so what. There is absolutely nothing wrong with us, we are getting to know each other so well, our inner thoughts and yes our moods. We’ve had a head start, we’ve grown to trust and have faith in each other, and no matter what your friends might think, and yes I can understand their misplaced concerns, they don’t know me as you do, and perhaps don’t know you as I do. I’m ready are you?


I know it shouldn’t matter but I don’t like people judging me and looking down their noses when we’ve done nothing wrong. It just angers me a bit that’s all. Nobody is perfect but they seem to think they can pass judgement on us. I really get stressed out when things like that cross my mind.




I keep trying to write, something, anything, which could make a difference. That could make you see there is no harm in me. That there is no reason for us not to have a coffee and activate the chemistry between us face to face. I just don’t have the words, least not on here, to overcome your doubts, your fears. That’s what all this ‘friends’ talk is about really isn’t it? As long as we’re on here we’ll not amount to anything, and you’ll have proved your friends right. But if you can show your happiness from the moment that we meet and the ways we find to share our lives, they’ll realise against all odds the joy of you and me.


Oh please do not say that we will not come to anything, as can you not see how heart broken and angry I am with myself. I do not need to hear that you are as well as that would be torture for me. All I want to do is make you happy and have you be proud of me, but I am too scared. Do you know how I hate myself right now.


Erin, I hope you’re home safe, no matter how you feel about yourself right now, no matter what your friends have said that has hurt you so deeply, you are and always will be a very special woman to me. My heart is not broken and nor should yours be. My feelings for you are as they have always been, and always will be, you are an irreplaceable vital part of me. If you feel anger then use it to give you strength to set free the loving caring woman I know you to be, if not for me, then for yourself. And be sure of this, I’d be proud to stand by you, as my friend, my soul-mate and my lover, to be any one of these or all, would make me happy.


You are the most adoring and gentle man, you’re everything I hoped, I imagined the perfect man could be. Just give me a little time and I will make you feel so proud for me to be your woman.




Hello Erin, how’s your weekend going? I hope you and your friends are seeing eye to eye again, I really do. I would not want to be the cause of any animosity between them and you, a man on the internet, a man you’ve never seen. How could they grasp all we feel, how could they understand the way fate worked for me and you. How we met on here a mystery, a miracle. I just know we are meant to be, but how could they? How could they know how long ago I fell for you. If only they could see how good I am for you and you are for me?


That’s just the point. They only see you as a man on the internet, suspect, even dangerous, like the man who badly hurt me. They don’t understand our relationship or our feelings for each other. Too bad, they will just have to accept that it’s my life and my choice.


I obviously touched a nerve asking how things were between you and your friends. I’m not too sure from your reply exactly what it is that you have told them and what you need them to accept as you choice of how to live? That you have been deeply hurt has long been obvious to me, I won’t dwell on this unless you want to talk about it? I do want you to feel free to talk to me about anything at all. You know I’ll always listen and believe in you. It goes without saying I wish we were together. That you’d let me help you smile, and laugh, and even cry, to just be yourself and know that all I’ll ever want from you is to be the woman I know you are.


No, let’s not dwell on it. It’s one friend in particular thinks she knows everything. Let’s focus on us and being happy and my friends will see that I am happy and that’s what should matter to them, right? I love that you are a part of my life; you are the right man for me. I am ready Sam, let’s make next weekend the beginning of everything for us.


[EDC Writing©2017 – Their Days]

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